Sunday, July 09, 2006

In Face of Defeat, Illinois Bigots Draw Inspiration From Bad TV

The Chicago Free Press reports that the Illinois State Board of Elections has decided that the referendum on an amendment to the Illinois Constitution to outlaw same sex marriage won't make it to the November ballot.

The board made the determination after conducting a random check of petitions submitted May 8 by Protect Marriage Illinois, an offshoot of the anti-gay Illinois Family Institute. The PMI petitions contained more than 347,000 signatures supporting the referendum, but SBE officials immediately rejected about 10,000 of them.

In late May, SBE staff conducted a random check to determine if enough of the remaining 337,000 signatures were from registered Illinois voters to meet the requirement that referendums be supported by at least 283,111 voters.

Late last week, the SBE notified both PMI and the Fair Illinois Committee that its random check found far too many irregularities and invalid signatures on PMI’s petitions for the referendum to make it to the ballot.


Fair Illinois (a coalition of organizations) apparently filled thirteen boxes with objectionable signatures — nearly one in three of all signatures submitted by PMI. These were mainly petitions circulated at churches but I guess lying is a Christianist value. Which would also explain why Fair Illinois found evidence "indicative of fraud" in the petitions.

So what's the next step for Pimp Marriage Illinois? According to David E. Smith, Pogrom Direktor, it's time to regroup and assemble a legal "A-Team".


"I pity the fag who wants to marry in my state!"

This announcement has, inevitably, led to one-upmanship with Fair Illinois revealing a plan to install a "MacGyver" on it's board.


"With a crucifix, a rosary and a feather boa,
I'll make a fabulous argument with all t's crossed and all i's dotted."

21 comments:

vesti said...

Somebody's gonna have to be the Fall Guy for this one...

Carl said...

Vesti, that crack was worth Six Million Dollar, Man!

vesti said...

Just for shits and giggles, I Googled "Bionic Penis" ... and this was what I found.

vesti said...

And I did a Google Image Search on "Bionic Vagina."

It's a wild world.

Fantod said...

LOL!

"I'm cumin?!"

Where are the pun police?

not_over_it said...

*sigh*

It's obvious that they didn't set out to make a good faith effort to get valid sigs because they intended to lie in the first place.

Is it tempting to have fake the sigs?

Yep.

Should you?

Nope. It's not ethical or legal!

It's called a voter list and it's hard work!

(said the overtired Dem who has been out doing things the right way for weeks)

Carl said...

Fantod said...
LOL!

"I'm cumin?!"


I didn't want to get the thread too carrawayed...

eyedoc333 said...

The pun police?

POPPYcock!

Fantod said...

(said the overtired Dem who has been out doing things the right way for weeks)

Better late than never, eh?

:P

not_over_it said...

The wait is worth it. Trust me.

I'll be delivering these sigs myself tomorrow.

eyedoc333 said...

Sorry for my SEEDY comment...

;)

Fantod said...

Me so corny. Me pun you long time.

not_over_it said...

Would you and your church please seriously consider taking a special love offering to help us with this financial burden?

That is wrong on so many levels...

Carl said...

Just thought I'd give you a heads-up that our favorite little Fister has posted:

Its strange how gay activists rail against taking the Bible literally. This is why we are called, in a derogatory way, fundamentalists. But with dancehall music, even though the artists themselves say it is only metaphorical, homosexuals insist on a literal rendering of the lyrics. I may post more on this as I think and read.

He really said that last bit!

vesti said...

Hey, I recall a lot of homos Wang Chunging at the beck and call of the band ... and as every literal queer knows:

If you judge a book by the cover
Then you judge the look by the lover

Fantod said...

Carl,

That's a priceless Fisterism. I also like that things enter his "circumference of knowledge." I didn't know a point had a circumference.

Vesti,

I was too busy walking like an egyptian.

thepoetryman said...

I may post more on this as I think and read.

Wooooaaaahhh... Deep man!

Like totally, dude!

Carl said...

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK*

Kin Fantod come out an' play, Mrs. Fantod?

not_over_it said...

She said NO and told us to get the hell off the porch!

Fantod said...

Oh my. It's been almost three weeks since I posted anything. I've got a couple of half-made posts lying around. I'll try to finish up one of those soon.

not_over_it said...

How much longer are you grounded for, Fantod? Sheesh!

Yer mom is mean!