Sunday, July 09, 2006

In Face of Defeat, Illinois Bigots Draw Inspiration From Bad TV

The Chicago Free Press reports that the Illinois State Board of Elections has decided that the referendum on an amendment to the Illinois Constitution to outlaw same sex marriage won't make it to the November ballot.

The board made the determination after conducting a random check of petitions submitted May 8 by Protect Marriage Illinois, an offshoot of the anti-gay Illinois Family Institute. The PMI petitions contained more than 347,000 signatures supporting the referendum, but SBE officials immediately rejected about 10,000 of them.

In late May, SBE staff conducted a random check to determine if enough of the remaining 337,000 signatures were from registered Illinois voters to meet the requirement that referendums be supported by at least 283,111 voters.

Late last week, the SBE notified both PMI and the Fair Illinois Committee that its random check found far too many irregularities and invalid signatures on PMI’s petitions for the referendum to make it to the ballot.

Fair Illinois (a coalition of organizations) apparently filled thirteen boxes with objectionable signatures — nearly one in three of all signatures submitted by PMI. These were mainly petitions circulated at churches but I guess lying is a Christianist value. Which would also explain why Fair Illinois found evidence "indicative of fraud" in the petitions.

So what's the next step for Pimp Marriage Illinois? According to David E. Smith, Pogrom Direktor, it's time to regroup and assemble a legal "A-Team".

"I pity the fag who wants to marry in my state!"

This announcement has, inevitably, led to one-upmanship with Fair Illinois revealing a plan to install a "MacGyver" on it's board.

"With a crucifix, a rosary and a feather boa,
I'll make a fabulous argument with all t's crossed and all i's dotted."

Tuesday, July 04, 2006