McCain vs. McCain

Part I


Part II

The Gays Are Getting Married!

John Hagee Gets Stimulated

Apparently, Hagee wants Christians to stimulate children's asses.

Ben Stein: Coolest Dude EVER?

... or complete ass?

When asked if he was worried about being labeled the right wing Michael Moore for his appearance in "Expelled", a film about how horribly fairy tales are treated when passed off as science, Stein replied,



"I don't purposely try to make myself look goofy..."

So it's purely by accident, or he was dressed by a tornado while standing in a junkyard, then.

John McCain: Gonna Be Wars

The Ballad of Sally Kern

...as read by The Modest Agnostic, original poem by The Digital Cuttlefish

One More Belated Parody

FADE IN

The camera slowly pans over the image of a sleeping child.

VOICE OVER: It's three o'clock in the morning and your children are safe and asleep.

[SOUND of phone ringing]

VOICE OVER: But there's a phone in the White House and it's ringing.

[phone ringing]

DISSOLVE to nighttime image of the White House.

[phone ringing]

HILLARY CLINTON: Before I answer that, I just want to point out that I always seem to get all the three A.M. phone calls. Why is that?

[phone ringing]

HILLARY CLINTON: I mean, I'm happy to answer it, I just wonder why there seems to be this pattern.

[phone ringing]

VOICE OVER: Something's happening in the world.

[phone ringing]

VOICE OVER: Who do you want answering that call?

[phone ringing]

HILLARY CLINTON: Don't get me wrong. I am more. than. happy. to answer that.

[phone ringing]

HILLARY CLINTON: I just find it curious is all.

[phone ringing]

FADE TO BLACK

Mr. Deity

David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries

powered by ODEO

Tony Phyrillas

Tony Phyrillas, aka "Doughy Pantload."